My enemy …
Eowyn from “Return of the King” and how I saw my needs
or my child …
Me on my 2nd birthday
That was the proposition put to me recently by my acupuncturist.
A trip to the dentist had triggered a week’s worth of Fibromyalgia Migraines. As I lay on his table, the conversation went like this:
Me: I feel like I have been fighting this battle for 20 years and I want to quit.
Acupuncturist: Quit as in let go or quit as in give-up completely?
Me: Silence. Too embarassed to say out loud that the latter was my choice. After all, I am the one who writes about unconditional hope. Just being transparent here.
Acupuncturist: What if you were to embrace each ache and pain as a child that needs to be nurtured, rather than your enemy to be fought?
Me: That seems too horrible to me to think about embracing chronic pain, fatigue and weakness.
Acupuncturist: How would you respond to a child that was in pain? Would you fight it or embrace it?
Me: Well … I would embrace it.
Acupuncturist: I just keep seeing your all your aches, pains and needs as a child that needs nurture.
I left his office completely bamboozled. But my Heavenly Father has used him so many times to speak into my life, I knew to immediately ask my Heavenly Father – what do I need to see/know about all this?
Revelation came as I opened Biblegateway 3 days later. The daily verse was:
But those who wait for the Lord
[who expect, look for, and hope in Him]
shall change and renew their strength and power;
they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God]
as eagles [mount up to the sun];
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint or become tired.
Isaiah 40:31 AMP
The verses immediately before talk about all the frailties of mankind contrasted to our Heavenly Father - the One who never wearies or grows faint. This verse does not tell me I have failed because I am weary or faint; rather it tells me my Heavenly Father has already made provision for me out of His love for me. My example is to love myself “as is” because of God’s love for me “as is”.
It was like an alarm went off …. oh my, is this nurture? Caring for the crying child rather than fighting or chastising it? This verse says nothing about pushing yourself harder and condemning yourself for weaknesses (the verse before speaks even of “the young men” experiencing such things), but rather to hope and open ourselves (lift up our wings) to receive and be lifted up by our Heavenly Father’s strength. YES YES YES! This is why and how I can embrace my every need and find/receive “nurture and comfort” for it.
I made the choice to come out of agreement with the lie that I have to “battle myself” and came into agreement with the truth that my needs do not disappoint my Heavenly Father, but rather He has already made way for my needs/weaknesses to be a way for me to receive more of Him. Just like Joseph declared “God has taken what the enemy purposed for evil and turned it to His good purpose!” (Genesis 50:20). Hallelujah!!
Are your wheels spinning? Well, my certainly were so just to be sure I “got the message” below is the verse waiting for me when I opened BibleGateway today to reiterate why I should and how I can nourish myself. Jesus’ example to me was “do as the Father is doing” (John 5:19). What’s the Father doing?
The Eternal One will never leave you;
He will lead you in the way that you should go.
When you feel dried up and worthless,
God will nourish you and give you strength.
And you will grow like a garden lovingly tended;
you will be like a spring whose water never runs out.
Isaiah 58:11 (The Voice)
I definitely have some nurturing to do. How about you?