Pregnant with hope

I had a dream Thursday night and as I was journaling it Friday morning the title of this blog came to me.  It’s making me pretty nervous to be this transparent, but I also know that every time my Heavenly Father has asked for more transparency on my part, He has used it to touch and help another life.  So, transparency it is!

To help you understand the excerpt from my journal below, you may want to check out this previous post that describes the chasm to which I refer.

To help you understand the imagery, you need to know a little more about me and the dream language my Heavenly Father has developed with me over the years

What you need to know about me is I have learned/discovered that in addition to being a triune being of spirit, soul and body, that my soul is also triune made-up of my intellect, my will and my emotions/heart.  In dreams my Heavenly Father has always used me to represent my intellect and some type of dog to represent my heart.  Suffice it to say that my intellect and my heart have “been at odds” quite a bit during my journey 🙂 .  You will have to wait for a future post yet to be determined to discover about my will!

What follows is my recording of the dream and revelation that came with it:

It feels like I was dreaming a long time but that I only remember the last couple of scenes.  It takes place on a luxury ship, like a private yacht.  I think I am the woman in the dream yet still somehow watching her even in the dream.  Even as I type that I hear “no, she is the bride of Christ”.  It feels like we have been through some type of storm and/or battle and for the moment it is smooth sailing.  Suddenly outside there is a ship larger and faster than ours that comes roaring up and starts to circle around us pushing up huge waves to crash over our ship and literally rock the boat.  The scene changes and there is a very good looking man – reminds of the Russian maestro in the movie “Money Pit”  — running up the circular staircase towards the woman in the dream.  It appears they were married before but now she has a new husband and she is pregnant.  He is furious.  I can tell his only “goal” is to hurt her and kill/ destroy her child.  When she tries to tell him it’s not yours he won’t even let the words get out of her mouth before he refutes them saying vile things like who would have you besides me; you’re a hoar.  She keeps going higher up the staircase to get away from him.  I am very concerned for her safety and the child she is carrying.  I make the decision in the dream to offer myself to him and somehow I know it means there is a very good chance I will be raped, but I feel it is more important to protect her and the child and sacrifice myself.  As I am calling out or taking some action to distract him from her I wake up.

Come Holy Spirit with revelation and truth.  What I’m getting is the enemy is furious with what is about to be birthed by the Bride of Christ (Isaiah 60) and he is literally roaring up to try to crash waves over her and “rock the boat” with no time to rest after a recent fight and victory.  Oh my … the recent Israel and Syria crisis with a peaceful resolution, peoples and nations hardly started to relax and exhale when they were hit with  shutdown of the U.S. government with no “rest” between crisis.

In the midst of all this the enemy is casting accusations, words against the Bride of Christ like:

  • who would have you, look at the condition of the world; you’re a failure
  • you are such a hoar – he doesn’t want the Bride to see herself as Jeshua sees her; he wants to berate her to make her doubt her value and believe she is powerless; to only see her failures and to make her inert.

All to try to destroy what is about to be birthed which is Isaiah 60.

As the new day dawns it is pregnant with hope.

This is so bizarre, she and what she carries is more important than me and yet I am part of the Bride of Christ …..

Oh my, not only is this dream about “The Bride of Christ” as a whole, it has a personal message as well.  The woman is the part of me that is pregnant with hope and the enemy does not want that to be birthed.  He is trying to remind me of when I was “married” to law and performance = him and who else would have me because I certainly don’t measure up.  Look at me – migraine again this week, so much aching in my muscles the past few weeks.  Who would believe that what I carry is of the Lord when my life looks like this.  What I just heard is “that is exactly why they will believe”.  In the dream I felt I know who I am; whatever this man does to me, it does not change who I am.  My circumstances/what happens to me do not define who I am.

I am almost speechless as revelation dawns that where I have seen such a chasm in the past between my heart and my intellect (me in the dream), You have reconciled them Father.  This dreams shows me my intellect is “on board” with the importance of the hope to be birthed.  My intellect is renewed being bound to the mind of Christ and knows that the hope within me is true, real and Fathered by Jeshua.  WOW. My intellect and my heart are reconciled, regardless of circumstance … regardless of having to “understand” all circumstances and experiences.  That is the sacrifice in order for hope to be birthed.  Hallelujah!!

In this moment I am wondering if the “chasm” I’ve seen for so long between my heart and intellect is the very “chasm” into which I chose to leap back in 1998.  In it I found Your love and You told me “When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step out into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing there will be something to stand on or you will be taught to fly.”  There have been so many flying lessons since then, but what I am seeing now is the chasm is gone.  It no longer exists.  I am no longer in the chasm learning how to fly out of it and above it.  You have closed it and reconciled my heart, my intellect and my will.  I no longer need to soar to survive; I soar because of who I am and how You have made me.  HALLELUJAH!!!

I could thank You with every breath for the rest of my life, and still there would be more thanksgiving welling up to pour out to You.  Hmmm, that sounds like a pretty good plan to me.  So be it Father – soaring with You because of who I am regardless of circumstance with thanksgiving in every breath.  SO BE IT according to Your freshly spoken Word because of who Jeshua is and what Jeshua has done.  AMEN!

From this place of reconciliation in my own life, my prayer for each of you comes from 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole,
make you holy and whole, put you together
—spirit, soul, and body—
and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ.
The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it!

5 thoughts on “Pregnant with hope

  1. WOW what a message for each of us. You last part made me think of the song we sing at church “As long as I have breath I will praise you LORD”. We are drawing near the end for us to be with our Lord too much is going on that tells us it’s almost over. Be ready at any given moment to leave this behind.

    LOVE YOU

  2. Gracious. The strength of the Spirit pours out from these words, more so even than usual in your work. What a wonderful thought, to be s pregnant with hope; and to use Mary’s words, millennia old but as powerful as ever. Let it be unto me according to thy word. Takes courage to say that.

    • Kate – it has taken me a while to collect myself to know how to respond to your comment. I am still struggling. THANK YOU for your encouragement. How do I convey how humbling and how motivating it is all at the same time? Maybe I don’t need to, you seem to already understand. 🙂

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